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Depression is a serious and complex condition that can vary in severity and affect someone in different ways. It can feel overwhelming and impact nearly every aspect of a person’s everyday life. Depression can cause physical and emotional symptoms that affect the person with depression and friends and family that care about them are also often impacted by depression as well.

If you have a loved one with depression – even if it’s not officially diagnosed – your relationship may suffer. You might feel confused or helpless and wonder what you can do to support your loved one and encourage them to get the help they need.

Understanding the right approach to support a depressed friend or relative starts with learning more about what depression is and how it might be affecting them, so you can say and do things to help.

Understanding Depression

Depression is one of the most common mental health conditions. It can happen at any age and is characterized by persistent low moods that may not be linked to any one cause. It’s much more than just feeling temporarily sad, lasting for months or even years. When someone experiences depression, it cascades across their life, impacting their work, school, and relationships.

The good news is that depression is treatable, but may require professional support, like therapy or medication to ease symptoms. If someone you love is suffering from depression, they may be considering getting help or they may feel embarrassed about reaching out. They may not know where to turn or feel too overwhelmed to start the process. 

Recognizing Depression in a Loved One

Developing depression does not happen overnight. Some people are genetically predisposed to mental health disorders due to family traits. Or depression may be triggered by a stressful event or situation and evolve over time. You might not realize someone you love has depression right away, but eventually you’ll notice changes in their attitude or behaviors.  You may become aware of some of the following symptoms:

  • Losing interest – When people are depressed you may notice they don’t seem as engaged in things they used to enjoy or take an interest in.
  • Eating more or less – Depression can affect appetite, and you might see those changes during meals together.
  • Sleeping more or less than usual – They might oversleep and miss an appointment or complain about having sleep problems and never feel rested.
  • Seeming uncharacteristically sad or bleak – If their outlook on life seems to be changing over time from what you know of their personality, they may be experiencing episodes of depression. 
  • Complaining about physical ailments – Depression can manifest as physical symptoms like headaches or stomach aches that come and go. 
  • Drinking more or using drugs – Turning to substances to deal with depression is common as a way to self-medicate and feel better temporarily.

Depression symptoms can worsen over time. Even if it may be unthinkable to you, if you become concerned that your loved one is at risk of suicide, don’t hesitate to talk to them about it and/or seek help immediately. Call 911, or use one of these resources

How You Can Provide Support

It might be hard to know how to support someone you love who’s dealing with depression. You might not know what to say to comfort or help them. And honestly, you might not be able to do too much, especially if their symptoms are severe. But offering your ear to listen without judgement or providing reassurance about seeking treatment can support their journey toward healing.

Remember that how your loved one feels is probably hard for you to completely understand, but they are struggling. Just offering to help with everyday tasks or making plans together can go a long way. 

When to Suggest Professional Help

If you think someone is depressed, but they seem unable to see it themselves, you can try to start a conversation about your concerns. Remember to speak with care and not criticism, while reminding them that depression is a complex but treatable condition, not a personal flaw or weakness they can just “snap out of.”  Using “I statements” like “I am worried about you, or I am concerned” sounds less judgmental than comments about them or how they are acting.

If your depressed loved one doesn’t want to seek professional treatment, it will be difficult for you to force them to do it. But you might want to try the following:

  • Suggest a visit to their primary physician – A general check-up might not be as intimidating, and a general practitioner may recognize signs of depression and encourage follow-up.
  • Offer to help make appointments – To someone with depression, navigating the process of finding a provider can feel overwhelming. Offer to do research or make necessary phone calls.
  • Propose online therapy or psychiatry – If your loved one feels shame or embarrassment about seeking help for a mental health issue, they may appreciate the ability to speak to a provider from the comfort and privacy of their own home.

Dealing with a loved one’s depression can be challenging and even draining over time. Remember it’s important to also take care of yourself. Ultimately, you can’t control someone else’s actions, you can only be honest and sincere about your own thoughts and behaviors, offering support and compassion to the person you care about.

If you know someone who needs online mental health care, MindGlow Health offers talk therapy and psychiatric care through online appointments with licensed providers who are experienced and passionate about what they do. The company was built on the foundation of a well-established behavioral health organization, where thousands of people nationwide have sought care for their mental health concerns. 

Learn more about the services we provide or suggest a loved one get started today with one of our experienced, passionate online providers to take the first step.