Quick Summary:
Supporting a loved one in recovery takes patience, compassion, and consistency. From using respectful language and listening without judgment to modeling healthy behaviors, recognizing relapse signs, and practicing patience, your support can make a lasting impact. This article provides tips to ensure you can be present and encouraging as your loved one builds a healthier future.
Clinically Reviewed by Megan McCann, LCSW
Watching a loved one struggle with addiction or substance use can be a heartbreaking journey. You may feel helpless and incapable of protecting a friend or family member from continuing to hurt themselves.
Every journey is different, and no one can predict the course. When it takes months or years of suffering before your loved one can complete a treatment program successfully, everyone suffers. When they complete that milestone, your joy and relief will be tremendous, but you can’t just assume addiction is now in their rearview mirror. Supporting them post-rehab and beyond is critical to their continued recovery. Understand how you can help them stay on the right path and keep moving forward in a healthy way.
1. Use the Right Words
It can be hard to navigate the tough conversations that come when a person is in recovery. How you talk about it matters. Take the pressure off yourself and your loved one by asking THEM how they would like to label their recovery process. Use their language when describing their experience. Whether people describe themselves as a person in recovery or a person with a substance use disorder, help set the tone for future interactions and show respect by using the terminology they identify with.
2. Be There to Listen
Rehabilitation programs often focus on the practice of expressing all ranges of emotions. Encourage conversation and be there to listen. Give space for hearing your loved one’s thoughts, and resist the urge to quickly give advice or opinions.
Having a supportive community and feeling that there are people one can be open and honest with are huge components of recovery. Provide positive reinforcement when your loved one is being open and honest, even when it is challenging for you to hear.
3. Model Behaviors
One of the hardest parts of recovery is learning how to navigate certain situations without substances. Be sensitive to what your loved one is going through and try not to drink or use other substances in front of them — especially early in their recovery.
Commit to healthier ways to interact and spend time, like exercising together or having a meal. Model healthy coping skills in stressful or uncertain situations, as well as healthy expression of emotions.
4. Remember, Patience is a Virtue
Recovery can be a lifelong process, and there are bound to be a few missteps along the way. Show patience and understand that your loved one is accomplishing a great feat by leaving an old life in the past and building a new one for the future. That takes time and effort.
If your patience is wearing thin, remove yourself from a situation rather than saying or doing something you’ll regret. If/when relapse happens, try to stay positive and keep supporting your loved one. They need it.
5. Know the Signs of Relapse
Relapses can and will happen, but it’s not the end of the road, just a detour. While the recovering person is ultimately responsible for their own recovery, it can still be helpful to recognize the signs of an impending relapse. Although you should talk with your loved one about what they believe could be unique personal signs of relapse, here are a few common signs:
- Reliving the “old days” of substance use and thinking about them in a positive way.
- Reconnecting with people or visiting places associated with prior use
- Sudden changes in behavior or moods.
- Refraining from attending required meetings or recovery events.
- Doubting the effectiveness of the recovery process.
- Isolation from loved ones and no longer attending social activities.
Work together with your loved one and their post-rehab care support to have a relapse plan in place. Brainstorm together what could be helpful if signs of impending relapse are starting to occur, such as increasing meeting attendance, calling a sponsor, or using healthy distractions. This plan can help provide direction and guidance in a time wrought with high emotions of both the person in recovery and their support system.
Reach Out for Help if Needed
Supporting someone who is struggling with addiction often comes with significant stress and little of your own support. The recovery phase brings new dynamics and challenges that are separate from the phases of active use.
Like recovery itself, you don’t have to do it alone. Find trusted support to problem solve, express your anger and fears, and understand that others are going through similar experiences. Look for local chapters of support groups for friends and family members of people struggling with addiction, such as Al-Anon or Nar-Anon. Think of self-care as a necessity in this high-demand season of your life, and know that it will help with your longevity and ability to be present with the person in recovery.
If you feel like you would benefit from additional assistance with meeting your own needs while caring for your loved one, Mindglow Health is here to help. With virtual talk therapy and psychiatric care, Mindglow Health is designed to provide treatment that fits your schedule. Learn more about the services we provide or get started today with one of our experienced, passionate online providers to take the next step towards a more healthy, balanced life.
